Poems, stories and musings from the Advance Writing Centre writing workshops, College of the North Atlantic - Qatar

Kevin Pittman, Editor's Greeting

We are Tessera
noun (plural: tesserae). A small block of stone, tile, glass, or other material used to compose images in mosaics.

Welcome to Tessera, where we celebrate the writings in English of people of diverse cultural, racial and first language backgrounds. These poems, stories and ruminations, or essays, each shine as tessera in the creative mosaic of this online writers magazine. 

Tessera is a digital extension of Mosaic, a high production print magazine launched in 2010 under the auspices of the College of the North Atlantic-Qatar and its Advanced Writing Centre. It was conceived and produced by Paula Hayden, then the AWC Coordinator, to feature the creative output of participants in CNA-Q's writing workshops. Paula oversaw the publication of four Mosaic issues before she left the AWC to take up other duties at the College. 

With the success of Mosaic's limited print runs,  the AWC team decided to exploit digital media and the internet to embrace writers world wide and to give them a world wide audience. Matt Stranach, a Writing Mentor and workshop presenter, set up Mosaic 2.0, a blog based magazine. Matt edited the first few issues until he also moved on. Since then, each of our workshop facilitators have taken turns as editor to keep it going.  

Tessera combines the missions of both Mosaic and Mosaic 2.0: it is reserved exclusively for writings by our workshop participants; and, through the global reach of the internet,  it offers contributors a potentially global audience.

Tessera completes our trio of writing venues, designed singly and collectively to affirm new and experienced writers of English and to validate their creative output. If you visit as contributors who share with other writers represented here, or as first time or regular visitors to Tessera, come simply for the reading, you are bound to be affected by the authenticity and expressiveness of these disparate voices.

As the CNA-Q writing workshops proceed, I hope that our participants will continue to submit their work to both Mosaic and Tessera (and perhaps to Mosaic 2.0, as well) for all readers who find their way here, as much as for themselves.



Kevin Pittman
Coordinator,
Advanced Writing Centre
College of the North Atlantic - Qatar

Editorial: Volume 1, Issue 1

Our Authors

Our inaugural issue captures a very nice range of subject matter, voices and sensibilities represented in stories, essays--or as I call them, ruminations--and poems.

Three of the writers seem to join chorus on the theme of repression/suppression vs. freedom, but each quite distinctively. Epifania Amoo-Adare, in her essay "Who am I? Notes of a Wanton Child", reflects on repression that many of us suffer of a particularly insidious kind--time and aging. And sadly, as Epifania reminds us, much of it is self-inflicted. But at the same time, she asserts hope in "the dreams that I need to resuscitate." Nadine Nader takes us into a different 'space', one that is less meditative and more visceral, in her poem "My Escape". Its repetition and iteration of statements and questions unfold like frantic syllogisms too urgent to restrain and, in the end, with a conclusion that she cannot, nor can we deny--her life affirming, perhaps life saving compulsion to write. To escape! Lilian M. Howell's brief story, "The Message", has the feel of a parable. It starts with ominous description of people in a French seaside village following a surprise invasion that leaves them cut off and unable to warn other villages further inland. With a few short paragraphs Lilian intimates at once the frailty and potentcy of hope for people overwhelmed by the malice of power, greed and war.

Family ascends as a vital theme in this first edition of Tessera, in essay, in poetry and in story. In "Lucy" Seema Sinha comes at the matter 'sideways', by focusing on childhood devotion and loss experienced when she 'adopts' a stray puppy. From this memory visited in her adulthood, Seema derives a very important message for people concerning the frailty of love and the selflessness it requires. Selflessness, as an attribute of love, is visited again in Samanthi Priyangika Gamage's reflective piece, "Making Time". The reader is asked to contemplate the heartbreaking irony of a father (Samanthi dedicates the essay to her father) who gave so much for his family, but who denied them opportunity to return their gratitude and love--possibly as a final act of selflessness. Jaya Majumber offers an ode in "Miss You, Ma", affirming how the nurture of mothers stays with us, even "from away and afar".

Another theme that emerges is Home, as it might be experienced by immigrants or expats--as a place embraced in memory and, on the other hand, as a place embraced in the present.  Asif Masood's story exquisitely evokes village life for a schoolboy in rural Pakistan as only the author could know it. "Sher Khan" is a celebration of home as memory and of memory as home. In contrast, Shushima Harish describes in "A Name to Honour" her actual experience of nervously arriving in Qatar to take up a new job, and gradually discovering a country and people that she recognizes as companionable, secure and suitable for making her new home.

And then there are the moments of our lives when our conversations with ourselves offer, when we need it most, revivifying revelation and--no less invigorating--humour. The inspiration and the object of 'the jokes' may be ourselves or those with whom we share a spec of space and instance of time while the cosmos rolls onward towards a destiny too large for us to comprehend. Poetry is a particularly pungent way to give such moments expression: Anu Mathew's "Somedays", Tatjana Martinoska's "If Your Birthday Goes Wrong", and Arti Jain's two quite different sentiments in "Freedom and Forgiveness" and "Writing Workshop".

A collection of writings of this sort would not be complete without at least one expression of romance. Kiran Ramachandran doesn't hold out on us. But his story's title, "A Knight in Grimy Armour", suggests a less than happy ending when a boy's moment of chivalry lasts only as long as a stain when a shirt is dropped in a tub of bleach.

Epifania Amoo-Adare, Essay


Who Am I? Notes of a Wanton Child
by Epifania Amoo-Adare, Doha


1. I am still in the process of evolving, even though I could say that a certain core part of me is more or less set in stone. But if asked to say what that aspect of me is, I will be hard pressed. All I know is that I am often not what people see me as and I sometimes surprise even myself. I also find that as I have gotten older, certain parts of me have either died off or gone so deep out of sight that I am not quite sure how to excavate them. And one such piece of mine is the daring adventurer, alongside the abject fun-lover.

2. I believe I can fly. You know, soar above my current existence, which of late has very much felt like someone else's life, that ironically I have constructed. This is not right, especially for the woman who every night in her childhood dreamed of flying. Where is that free spirit? What has this staid imposter done with her? That is exactly what I very much would like to know.

3. I want to be me. Surely by now this fact is very clear to you. Most certainly, it is for me. I want to be the unruly child that I was, the one who aspired to models like Beryl the Peril. Not so much to be naughty, but rather to be free: free from unwanted burdens of good social behavior, free from prescriptions for appropriate female demeanour, free of the limitations of becoming a good student, free from the harsh boundaries of reality. You see, that is why I always flew at night, in my dreams,where no one could stop me. And it is those dreams that I need to resuscitate - giving them mouth to mouth in my mind's eye. After all, now that I know that thoughts form cells, just think of what I could manifest with the power of my own lucid dreaming.

4. I know what it is to not be quite me, but what I have yet to know is how I can achieve the fullness of being - the artless art of an existence that is free and wanton--not in the egotistical nature of that word but rather in the intangible form of the integral way: where my life energy cannot distinguish itself from that of other life forms, and where intellect is overwritten by the indescribable lightness of being. And now even I do not make any sense, because non-sense is what we truly are: the complete fullness of being nothing and no-body.

5. I think too much. Therefore I am not capable of being in this present without a weighted anxiety: anxious to be more than what I am, while recognising that I do not exist in reality. A conundrum one might say, but is that not what all life is? A puzzle of energy, manifesting in various forms and dimensions, and often cancelling itself out in a Big Bang of coming-into-being.

6. I wish--a loaded term, filled with so much potency and regret: this has been my current state of existence; fortunately, sans regret.

7. I hope...

Seema Sinha, Essay

Lucy
by Seema Sinha, India

Being a latch-key child, I could hardly afford a pet. My mother tried to make amends by buying me a bowl of fish. But I wanted something that would sniff me, lick me, and love me! I wanted a dog!

But that was ruled out as all of us left early in the morning and the house was locked and barred for the day. My little sister went to a day care centre. If only there were day care centres for little pups! I thought I’d have to grow up without a pup till the day one literally barged into my life.

In the absence of a pet, all stray animals in the neighbourhood had become my pets. And one day I found Scooby, my favourite she-dog, in great agony. She was giving birth! Though in no mood to accept assistance from us, she was not unduly aggressive either. And how I loved playing midwife to my birthing dog! The pups had to be cleaned, the mom fed. Scooby did not mind my attempts to feed her, but she would not allow even one of the pups to be touched. She would snarl and bare her teeth the moment we’d even look at her blind pups, no beauty in their present form. In any case she had taken the job of cleaning the pups upon herself. A lick here and a lick there, and the pups were as good as new.

We had opted for our favourites. The one with a white nose and black splotches on a brown coat was definitely mine. I called it Lucy. She was a female pup, and I was already imagining the day when I would become a grandmom.

Lucy grew up fast. In no time she was a regular bundle of joy – a ball of fat rolling in gay abandon. The other pups, though not mine, were equally delightful. And thus it thrived, this little family of mine, in the far end of the common backyard. Of course we had cleaned the area, and even provided Scooby with a rag bed for her pups. I couldn’t have carried one home - in any case my mom wouldn’t have allowed, and even Scooby wouldn’t have permitted.

The conversation of the kids of the entire neighbourhood was dominated by the latest about Scooby and family. Feed time was special. Scooby would just roll over, and the pups would latch on to one of the numerous tits. A lot of pulling, pushing and nudging would take place before everyone had had its fill. The contented look on their faces was little short of angelic.

The pups were changing with time. The scraps that we saved for them from our tiffin boxes did not satisfy them. My heart broke when I saw Lucy scrounging around the garbage bin. When I tried to smuggle food out of the house I got a big lecture on the rising cases of rabies in the city.

The worst was yet to come. Lucy was gone! I was sure I’d find her plastered on the road, her entrails the feast for crows. Instead I found her cowering in a drain, drenched to the skin. It took quite some ingenuity on my part to clean her, as taking her home was out of question.

I was getting tired of Lucy. No longer was she my cute little pup. She was a sturdy female who could defend herself against the neighbourhood bullies. The proprietorship that I felt for Lucy was gradually waning with time. But there was no lack of love or loyalty on poor Lucy’s side. She would still come bounding the moment she’d see me, which was more of  an irritant now that she was a  large smelly dog .I too had become bigger. I knew I could not keep a stray as a pet, but the love that she had for me was like a cord round my feet. I felt guilty for not being able to look after her. I thought I would see recrimination in her eyes. But all I ever saw was boundless love.

And then came the final blow. Lucy was gone for good. Some say she was picked up by a dog squad. Some say she left for a better locality. I’d never get to know……..

But one thing I know and I want you to know - Never love someone if you can’t be consistent.


Sushma Harish, Essay

A Name to Honour
by Sushma Harish

Dear readers: This writing referrers to the year 2006 as we bid adieu to India and flew to Qatar finding our bread after the oil here. A comparative presentation of the life in Bangalore and in Doha is what you find here. But with pinch of humour.

It was that red winged Gulf Airlines that I flew on from the Garden City of India to this Desert called Doha, my home for past 7 years. For those who don't know, the Garden City of India is Bangalore. To this day I can’t stop abusing the airlines that delayed my take off by more than an hour, in turn pushed me in a mess as I missed my transit flight to Doha. After travelling like crazy around two Gulf States in 24 hours, with my infant, feeding her whatsoever was available in the airports, I reached Doha almost like 18 hours late. The new me in this new place began in black and white.

After a hustle bustle of so called journey, the arrival in Doha International Airport even today sends in that very air in me. I can stand there blinking at the very sight that went blur to my sight that day, with same propensity even now. People weren't running, everyone to everything seemed calm, no noise. Huge built Arabs with utmost respect to women like me with child in hand, greeted. Most attire around me was either full white [men] or full exotic black [women]. Some hardly showed their eyes only. My heart fainted with respect shown to ladies, in the airport. Waiver of long queues was big relief. Remember unlike in Bangalore not one apart from porter bothered to notice I was managing 12kg handbag with 12kg baby with me.

Once out of airport, and into the fancy grey SUV, I smiled to myself. Welcome to Doha reverberated in my ears. As we pulled off, felt an urge to use the seat belt in the rear seat too. Nevertheless eyes stuck on broad, good roads that seemed like neatly laid car showroom, just that cars were moving. Hardly signs of two wheeler, auto rickshaws, or honking over filled buses or speeding trucks. A short ride took us to grand villa in midst of city.

Operating from Qatar officially. Life was getting normal. New routines volunteered. Mornings were beautiful, be it Bangalore or Doha. But sun was shining more here. I did not like it though. There weren't those crows too. Also, I had started missing the morning milk man who rang the shrill bell at 5am, I had once hated.

Few days before settling with a job routine, it was uneasy not to find a cockroach or a fly or a lizard to chase and neither was that strolling street vendor selling fresh veggies. The bonus was a brand new car all for me. I had to proudly show it off to my people in India. Yes. All for myself, remember.

Shades of life had changed. From colorful India to black and white, from busy streets to calm ones.

It took us few months getting acquainted to their accent and tone. At times when I occasionally found a car coming to screeching halt on a main road, making way for the walker, I would realize, bliss this was. On Bangalore roads the constant fear of a local bus almost run over me haunted, while here a walker received super respect. I liked this, though not the absence of cockroaches in the house! Phew.

There were no easy signs of a "maid", so I played the role of one initially. That meant, every night when I had to do away the trash in the exterior of the compound, there were huge pairs of eyes staring me. Never in my life had some huge built cats stared, after all for throwing trash. There were no street dogs out in Arab country; hence the cats apparently grew too naughty. I had to assume. Or perhaps I did not have non vegetarian stuff for them may be. However the cats did not bother me much. Lesser greenery did. I payed heaven and hell to actually purchase even grass and soil. Good heavens. Welcome to desert, I told myself. Closed air conditioned homes and bottled water at times choked me. Forcing me to flee to the peace of the temple environment, but alas, no luck. The monotonous Mosque prayers had started pleasing me. I liked the melody and rhythm with which people prayed punctually 5 times a day. I got used to it to the extent, of omiting usage of morning alarm of 4am.

At times my heart leaps to Bangalore, but returns promptly at the very thought of the noisy streets or crowded buses. Life moves on now in black and white. Now, I could put on a badge myself, a name to honour, pat my back and say "I am an Gulfi".


Samanthi Priyangika Gamage, Essay

Making Time
by Samanthi Priyangika Gamage, Sri Lanka
...For my father

A constant stimulation of e- mails, phone calls and 24 hour access to work give us information overload. Our minds become exhausted from the cacophony and the monotony.

Many of us are so overwhelmed or busy throughout that we have little time to step back and evaluate how we’ re really living. We may ignore the headaches or colds or a coughs, or medicate them; but did you ever think about why and how you got it?

Go back in your life not years, just a day.

How many of you had a healthy breakfast?

How many of you had a good 7-8 hour sleep?

How many of you drank enough water, 6-8 glasses?

How many of you cannot bear the heat in Qatar, but remain here since you cannot do anything about it?

Since the day we are born, we tire ourselves and never think of it much until something seriously happens. I remember a section from a book I read recently: ” There are many reasons why babies cry and one of them is sudden separation from the world of pure dreams, where all the things are made of enchantment and where there is no suffering. They dislike the rigorous existence and unfaithful longings.”

I came to Doha in September 2009. I used to speak to my parents every Friday for about an hour or two. One day in November, my mother gave a call and said, “Father is sick and diagnosed with a liver ailment.”

“What? Why suddenly?” My father was healthier than my brothers and never in my memory had a serious illness.

On 15th May 2010, I got a text message around 7:00PM from my cousin sister, “Father passed away, try to come.”

I asked myself why? Why me? there’s nothing I could do.

Father was the eldest of his family with 10 siblings. He had to raise them them all  while he was still in his youth. He married at 20 and raised three of us without thinking of himself. Later he devoted his life to his grandchildren. Did he ever think of himself?

When I asked my mother why he didn’t see a doctor. After all, my youngest brother is a doctor! She said, ” He didn’t bother”, and she blamed herself for ignoring signs of the disease. “ He started sleeping during the day time after lunch, which he never did. But we thought he was tired after gardening or other work. He started complaining about the taste of the food, and we all thought that his grumbling because he was growing old.”

A huge plant can collapse in a few days if the roots are damaged, but it shows signs of illness when its leaves start to fall and chang colour.

Our bodies are usually resilient and forgiving. Each day, each week, each month it is put under pressure. The body gives us signs and messages, quiet and subtle reminders. This incredible machine nontheless requires that we listen to it. We may pick up flu, stomach pains and becom bed-ridden for and have to take time from work. If we still ignore these messages the body will stop forgiving, and it will hit us with a chronic disease. It could be hypertension, heart attack, or cancer.

Wellness is not a by-the-book discipline, but a goal for personal health. Take extra care of yourself just like you care for others. It is not selfishness .If my father thought of himself a little, just by taking a tiny little bit of extra care, we wouldn’t have lost him so soon. We cannot totally avoid death but should we rush to it? Relations, friends, colleagues and society will slowly forget us when we depart, but some eyes will brim with tears for the untimely lose.

Think of yourself, think of your loved ones. Spread that message today; tomorrow may be too late.


Anju Mathew, Poety


Somedays
by Anju Mathew, India


Some days I just want to be me
Some days I never know what that  may be.

Stranger to my own thoughts and deeds
Spectator to participant it eventually leads.

Sabotaged by emotions and impulses
Savant turned by the same senses.

Stunned by the words I sometimes utter
Sound nothing like me-for worse or better

Steadfast in my soliloquy
Staggering in my reality

Some days I just feel like me
Some days I love whatever that may be.

Jasna Andonova, Poetry

If your birthday goes wrong
by Jasna Andonova

Nobody wants that,
but we can't choose.
If your birthday goes wrong,
you can understand the blues.

Imagine an empty room,
filled with balloons and doom,
decorated with confetti and sadness
that take out the tears and madness.

I made a cake,
and a whole silly shake
--but nobody came.
In the space I only hear my name,
and I don't know who to blame.

At first I went nuts,
to stay calm--I didn't have the guts
--I laid on the floor and started to roll,
crying till I fell asleep,
hugging my doll.

But at the end of the time
--they always surprise me--
they came with presents,
and what do they see?

They made me cry because they were very late. 
They apologised and started to dance.
I felt really great.
I gave them a chance.

The birthday went upside-down,
I was it's princess, wearing an invisible crown.
Everybody is satisfied, nobody's sad.
I'm happy they made it, I'm really glad.

So there you go,
I told you and I show
that you don't need no desperation,
we are "one of a kind" nation.
They always will come,
but even when there aren't some,
enjoy the sun, the light, the special day.
It's yours only;
it's your birthday.


Arti Jain, Poetry

Freedom and Forgiveness
by Arti Jain, India/UK

Freedom?
Forgiveness?
Which one?

"Forgiveness is Freedom", said Brigit, "It frees your soul."

Aha! I like this idea. I'll use it.
Does forgiveness have a memory or is it amnesiac?
I forgive--you forget

I want my forgiveness back.
Do you even need my forgiveness?

"Forgive yourself first", said Brigit.

And I will.
Then I can be free.



The writing workshop
by Arti Jain, India/UK

The fly that flew
to the cup, the doughnut and to you
landed on Epifania's ear
and made her shudder
in fear.

WHACK! Let's get it.
But the fly flew.

The fly that flew
to the draft, the brainstorm and to you
witnessed words woven into webs
saw sentences stirred by plebs...
the excitement, the enthusiasm ebbs...

WHACK! Let's get it.
The fly of doubt-
0UT!

The fly that flew
to the book, the thesaurus and to you
grew and grew and grew
from a spec to a botheration
to an absolute abomination.

WHACK! Let's get it.
The fly of procrastination-
EXTERMINATION!

Jaya Majumder, Poetry

Miss you ma
by Jaya Majumder, India

You are remembered mother
In between talks and work
From away and afar
At my work and after.

The sunrise forehead I remember
That smiling face I remember
There comes your scolding and laughter
Your entry with my friends just after
But like a dream here they are
Following me here there and everywhere.

You used to start my morning
With one of your kisses loving
But that sunlit face is missing
With your love and scolding
But your smile is ringing
When I’m working or teaching.

I remember you in my work
I remember you in that spot
Standing with a flower pot
In the afternoon hot.
I remember those moved eyes
When you listened to music
I remember you in the moon light
As you always make me bright

Nadine Nader, Poetry

My Escape
by Nadine Nader

My escape are the letters.

My escape are the letters of any keyboard.
My escape are the letters of any keyboard,
because as soon as I get my fingers on them they start running.

As soon as I get my fingers on them they start running
like they are being followed with sticks.
As soon as I get my fingers on them they start running
like they are being followed with sticks, getting ready to be beaten down.

Getting ready to be beat down because they should not be free.
Getting ready to be beat down because they should not be free to write and express.

They should not be free to write and express their emotions and thoughts.
They should not be free to write and express their emotions and thoughts,
because they will be judged.

They will be judged for how they feel, and how they think.
They will be judged for how they feel, and how they think,
because in this world we live in, you are judged for being free.

In this world we live in you are judged for being free
because there are supposed to be rules and limits.
In this world we live in you are judged for being free
because there are supposed to be rules and limits that tell you how to think,
that tell you how to feel.

Rules and limits that tell you how to think, that tell you how to feel
because some people want order.
Rules and limits that tell you how to think, that tell you how to feel
because some people want order so that the their traditions don't fail.

So that their traditions don't fail and their faiths don't get doubted.
So that their traditions don't fail and their faiths don't get doubted,
so they can control the way people live.

So that they control the way people live, and the way people think.
So that they control the way people live, and the way people think,
so they can run things their way.

You know what I say to that?
You know what I say to that? I say no!

You know what I say to that? I say no. I say I will live the way I want.
I say I will live the way I want. I will think the way I want.
I say I will live the way I want. I will think the way I want. I will let my fingers run.

I will let my fingers run, and let my fingers express what I'm thinking
and what I am feeling.
I will let my fingers run, and let my fingers express what I'm thinking
and what I am feeling, because my emotions and my thoughts,

Because my emotions and my thoughts don't go by rules or limits.
Because my emotions and my thoughts don't go by rules or limits,
because they are bigger.

They are bigger than me, they are bigger than you.
They are bigger than me, they are bigger than you,
and they are bigger than any tradition or any belief.

So that is why I escape.

That is why my escape are the letters of any keyboard.
That is why my escape are the letters of any keyboard,
because as soon as I get my fingers on them they start running.

They start running, and expressing, and it makes me feel free.
They start running, and expressing, and it makes me feel free,
freer then I can ever feel in my life.

Asif Masood, Story


Sher Khan
by Asif Masood


Behind each face is a story, and behind each story are hopes and dreams through which you can find a different facet of the society and country they come from.

Getting behind the line, Sher Khan finds himself at his maternal grandfather's home. There was a very loving uncle who would daily, without fail, give him a bicycle ride in the courtyard and take him to his school with him. Those were the lovely days, and the people around were very caring. There were wall to wall smiles, and smiles of thanks to each other. There were so many of Sher Khan's cousins around, some his age, some younger and older. He used to play and go to fields to cut fodder to feed cattle. There were fruit gardens from where he used to pluck oranges, lemons and melons.

There was a tube well gushing forth a cool, fresh stream of water where he used to bathe. There were flowers all around and green trees. In summer he used to take shelter from the scorching heat and pluck fruit to eat. One must ask children and birds how cherries and strawberries taste. There the birds sing, the snow melts, the rose unfolds, the dawn whitens behind the stark shapes of trees on the quivering summit of the hill. There was a small stream of fresh running water where he used to go with his mother and aunts to wash clothes. There were no washing machines those days.

There were buffalos, donkeys and horses. There were sheep and goats, dogs and cats. In the evenings the mothers and aunts used to milk cows and buffalos, drinking the unboiled fresh milk. It had a lovely taste and Sher Khan liked to add sugar, something rare in those days. Sugar was a luxury for patients or the privileged. But near his grandfather's home, sugar cane grew in abundance and he would cut it from fields, peal it with his teeth and squeeze out its fresh juice.

In the evenings he used to sit with his cousins and engage in all sorts of talk. One evening he was sitting with his cousin discussing,in their specific dialects, goats and sheep. One of their uncles laughed with enjoyment at their serious dialogue. The evenings were so sweet; and there were games. He would sit in a quiet corner with one of his uncles and enjoy the games being played and the fuss and enjoyment.

He liked to go to the nearby railway station to see trains arriving, picking up passengers and leaving some. Oh, what a scene it was! It was fascinating. Engines burnt coal and exhaled thick black smoke--Sher Khan and his friends took delight and pleasure from it. There was a particular smoke smell that people loved; whereas today they hate to smell the smoke. There was no concept of pollution. The thick smoke spewing from the train turned the scene into a picture postcard.

There were small boxes on the railway station that were filled with dry grass and used railway tickets. Sher Khan and his friends chose ones to play with later. They were lovely toys.

Eventually, Sher Khan left that memorable place and the loving uncle, moving to his home town where his father lived. But he never left him behind. He asked his mother to leave Sher Khan with him,\; but how could a mother leave her son? She told him he is too small to be left behind. He said he will feed him with buffalo milk.

His memories stayed with him. His uncle died a sad and painful death while still a young man. Sher Khan could not attend his funeral, as travel was long and the means of travel were poor. Only his mother went. And there she gave birth to Sher Khan's brother, who was named after the uncle. She told him the story of his sad and painful demise, his poor medical care and the pain it caused him. His eyes used to rain and he would let the heart do the talking.

Sher Khan remembered the long summer journey home by train, a very enjoyable one. His mother and few of his uncles were with him. They were all very loving and took great care of him, letting him have a lot of things to eat and drink. It was an age when one enjoys eating all sort of things without being careful about hygiene.

He finally arrived in his lovely and fascinating native village, surrounded by lovely hills with bevies of rock lovelies. This was where he was to be raised and educated, in the lap of Mother Nature. It was such a fine place, green and open. So many birds, animals, green crops and fine people. Here he lived in a cozy cottage in a peaceful country setting.

After a few years he attended a village school surrounded by big trees and wide green fields. It was a pastoral setting with rolling fields and grazing sheep. All around were simple, loving and genuinely friendly people, leading a remarkably frugal existence. There were two very simple but learned and expert teachers there. The children were also straight forward and simple. They took their buckets to the nearby Persian wheel to fetch drinking water. Birds chirped all around on the trees and buildings. Then a brick kiln was built near his school, leading to a new age in the village. For many people from all over the country, with their many accents and dialects, were drawn to the village kiln for work.

He stayed there for six years and then moved to a middle school a bit far off. He would go there by public bus with his peers, often hanging behind or sitting on the roof. It was a joyous ride as the wind tousled his hair. It was a town setting, and the students and teachers there came from the surrounding villages. Sher Khan was a pure villager and would sit quietly in the classroom. Here there were different teachers for different subjects. They would come and go at the strike of the bell. Then there would be a long continuous bell, which meant the end of school day. All the students would run out of classes and head home, some on foot and bicycles and some by busses.

After school Sher Khan went straight home. On arriving his mother handed him a piece of bread and a ball of sugar or an onion for lunch. He ate it on the way to fields where an uncle or aunt grazed cattle. He then took care of the cattle so that his uncle or aunt could do house chores before sunset. Later he herded the cattle home as the sun spread a golden sheet on the hills. His duties done, he played a game with his peers until the dark replaced the golden light of the sun.

My mother or aunt would prepare dinner to be served before sunset, because there was no electricity in those days. After dark, snakes and scorpions took their night strolls. Hence it was important to finish dinner before sunset. For dinner there was hot bread, curry and fresh cow or goat milk, unboiled. And sometimes there would be dessert, rice boiled in fresh cow milk. Sher Khan loved it. Then everyone sank into a delicious slumber.

It was summer vacations that Sher Khan enjoyed most. It was a free time, with harvest yet to come. All the animals grazed freely, without care takers. So Sher Khan was free to play games and ride donkeys with his cousins. In summer there were plenty of donkeys set free to find food for themselves. Sher Khan along with his cousins would ride them and run races.

In this season the donkeys were very active and energetic. When someone rode a donkey it ran at full speed, trying to throw him off its back by a quick turn or running underneath a low thorny tree. Sometimes the rider was seriously injured. Noor Khan was a cousin, about thirty years older than Sher Khan, who told the younger cousins how to ride a donkey successfully. He told stories of riding donkeys in his boyhood. The boys listened to the stories carefully in order to avoid the incidents Noor Khan had been through. And in time they discovered their own ways to control the donkey's, and were able to tell the elder cousin how they did it. He would laugh and say, "You are my teachers!"

Sher Khan and the cousins would catch birds with a long net or with other traps and snares. They hid the snares in dust with a bit of food to lure the birds, When a bird tried to eat it, the snare operate caught the bird by its neck. The birds would start chirping in high tones indicating that one of them had been ensnared. It was a joyous moment for Sher Khan and his company to take the bird out of snare before it died of suffocation or was taken by a predator.

Sometimes they trapped a 'quill, using a long and wide net. They put the net in a corner of a long field of crop and then went to the other side with a long rope, with two men at each end slightly pulling it to make the crop move and produce noise. The quill is a beautiful bird with many enemies; it prefers running to flying. The quill would run ahead of rope in fear and run into the net at the end of the field. It was an awe inspiring and wonderful scene as the quill fluttered in the net, trying to escape. Sher Khan caught hold of it and clipped its wingsbefore taking it out of the net, making it impossible for the quill to fly away. Often a flocks of quills would be ensnared in the nets.

When it rained, Sher Khan waited for the rain to pass so he and his companions could make clay toys. They collected wet clay from where water was stored for cattle or for domestic use. They made sure the clay was free of sand. They normally brought it home, where they prepared it on a clean hard surface to avoid impurities. Sand in the clay made the toys brittle and they would break. When the clay was ready, the boys moulded it into different toys. The wet clay toys were put in the sun to dry. The boys liked to make tractors, because tractors were rare in those days and they were fascinated by the ones they saw. They tried to copy of what real tractors did. They used their tractors to plough small fields and toy trolleys to carry heavy loads. They even ploughed fields of friends in exchange for paper money that they made by tearing pages from their notebooks. Sometimes they were rebuked by elders for doing that. Kher Shan and the boys were not much bothered and kept doing whatever they liked, without care or concern for what elders said. Perhaps that was the blessing of pure freedom.

Every new clay model was changed and improved. For example, they eventually discovered a way to enable their toy tractors to pull trolleys and ploughs. Ploughs often broke on hard surfaces, so they started using wood and iron to make them stronger and longer lasting. Wheels would fall off until they improved the axels.

There used to be fairs and Friday bazaars where they went to shop and to see cock and quills fight. At other festivals bulls were made run and there were dog fighting competitions. Fascinated by these events, Sher Khan and his companions tried to copy them using stray donkeys and dogs. They tried to mimic anything they saw.

Harvest season was the toughest, but it had a certain charm of its own. Children cut and curshed the crops alongside their parents and brought them home on donkeys. Sher Khan hated loading things on the donkeys; but cousins, aunts and uncles helped to get the crop home.

Time passed slowly in those years and it seemed ages had passed before Sher Khan completed grade five and moved into middle school, and three years later to high school. Sher Khan was hungry for knowledge. When he finished grade ten, he went to college, graduated with admirable grades, then entered university.

Sher Khan's first school was a humble adobe house made of terracotta, with only two rooms and a verandah. Nearby was a Persian wheel for drawing water from a huge pool. Every day the children had to bring buckets of water from the Persian wheel to the school. Persian wheels are normally pulled and moved by cattle; but the school children had to push the wheel themselves and fill the buckets. Then they put a long stick throught the bucket's handle for carrying it on their blameless shoulders to the school.

Farmers came with herds of cattle, goat and sheep to drink deep in the scorching heat. They usually came late in the day. However, if they arrived early one of the cattle could be used to move the wheel. This saved so much time for the children that they were able to play before the teacher's arrival.

The humble schoolhouse was a place of friendships for barely three blissful years. During one summer break when the rains were heavy, the school floors needed repair. The students and one of their teachers cleared the debris and removed the school’s valuables to store them in a nearby house. The teacher along with the families who relied on the school chose to rebuild it with their own hands and resources, since the school administration was not willing to act quickly and was reluctant to challenge higher officials. In those days, people believed in self help; there was no Jeeves for Bertie Wooster.

Some people brought shovels and picks and wheel barrows. They dug soil from the school quad, and brought water from the Persian wheel. They mixed the water and clay to make made adobe bricks. They dried the bricks in the sun and used them to rebuild their school. The teacher acted as a mason and Sher Khan and his friends as labourers. They succeeded in raising four walls in a rectangle. It took about three weeks to do this much, because they worked only during school hours. Next, they had to cut trees from the nearby forest to use for the school's roof.

They completed the new single room school in a month. They returned to the school the things that were put in storage: two wooden chairs, a table, two steel boxes for stationery, two blackboards, and water glass for two great teachers, two clay water pots and an earthen drinking cup for students. They sat under trees with their teachers in sizzling summer and freezing winter, in sympathetic autumn and “Let’s party!”spring. As Robin Williams says, “Spring is nature’s way of saying, “Let’s party!”They moved inside the schoolroom only when the rains were heavy.

The excavation in the school quad created two oversized ditches, like dimples in a blushing cheek. During the monsoon, they filled with water, making a lovely lake that overflowed its banks. Birds quenched their thirst and sang merry songs beside the lake. The children floated paper boats on it and washed their writing tablets in it. It was were a few daredevils first learned to swim. The lack was a flood of happiness. At this time, spring stood before them in new and luminous robes. Life seemed eternal. The single room school lasted almost two decades, providing a learning place and refuge for Sher Khan and his companions until they were grown up.

Leaving behind his first school was a heart breaking move. Sher Khan had a deep emotional attachment with two great teachers, the schoolroom itself, the two dimples in the school quad, the trees, the birds, the green fields, the Persian wheel and the simple people who lived all around. But now it was time to part and they were sad. Thus they let the hearts do the talking. But tend not to make it public as grief is something immensely personal. And then speak in a murky tone, sorry to be leaving but not unhappy. What a huge deprivation?